Change: How to Stay Grounded Through Major Life Transitions
Change is both inevitable and transformative. It is woven into every stage of life, whether expected or sudden, chosen or imposed. Yet even when change leads to growth, it can leave us feeling destabilized, uncertain, or overwhelmed.
From the big shifts, graduations, marriages, new careers, parenthood, divorce, relocations, and retirement to the quieter ones like shifting routines or evolving friendships, transitions remind us that nothing in life stays still for long. And while resilience is often praised, research shows that most people find change deeply challenging. Understanding why—and learning how to ground ourselves through it—can help us not only endure these moments but grow from them.
Why Change Feels So Hard
Neuroscience has long explained that humans are wired for stability. Our brains create “predictive models” of the world so we can move through daily life without constant stress. When change disrupts those models, it activates the amygdala, the brain’s fear and threat center. This can trigger anxiety, irritability, or a fight-or-flight response, even when the change itself isn’t life-threatening (Harvard Business Review, 2022).
Psychology also sheds light on the discomfort. William Bridges, who pioneered research on transitions, described the “neutral zone”—a liminal space between what was and what will be. It’s a space of ambiguity, where old identities fade before new ones are formed. Humans tend to resist this space, longing for certainty, which is why we often label change as “stressful” rather than seeing it as fertile ground for growth.
Studies from the American Psychological Association also highlights that loss of control is one of the hardest aspects of change. Even positive transitions—like becoming a parent or starting a dream job—require giving up certain freedoms, familiar roles, or identities. That loss, though temporary, can feel like grief.
Major Life Transitions and Their Impact
Throughout our lives, we move through seasons of transition that challenge and reshape us. The shift from adolescence to adulthood, for example, brings both freedom and the pressure of identity formation, often marked by higher rates of anxiety and depression compared to other stages of life. Career transitions—whether starting a new role, being promoted, or facing a layoff can deeply impact our sense of security and self-worth. Marriage and parenthood, though joyful, are among the most demanding shifts, often straining relationships as individuals adjust to new responsibilities and the loss of personal freedoms. Conversely, divorce or the end of a partnership can unravel routines, shared identities, and stability, making it one of the most stressful life events we face. Relocation, too, can spark unexpected challenges, as familiar environments and communities are replaced with the unknown, often creating a temporary sense of disconnection. Later in life, aging and retirement bring their own set of adjustments, requiring individuals to redefine purpose while navigating health changes and loss. Illness, whether personal or within the family, can be especially destabilizing, altering daily life and reshaping the future in profound ways.
How to Stay Grounded in Times of Change
While change can’t be avoided, we can develop strategies to help us navigate it with steadiness and compassion for ourselves.
Anchor Yourself in Rituals
When routines feel shaken, small rituals create a sense of continuity. Rituals, even symbolic ones, reduce anxiety and increase feelings of control. For example, a morning walk, journaling, or evening tea can serve as anchors.
Lean on Social Connection
Loneliness during transitions can heighten stress. A meta-analysis of over 148 studies found that a strong social connection increases survival rates by 50% (PLOS Medicine, 2010). Sharing openly with friends, family, or a therapist can normalize uncertainty and provide perspective.
Reframe the Narrative
Cognitive reframing, which is choosing to see change as an opportunity rather than a threa,t has been proven to lower stress and increase resilience. Ask yourself: What might this transition make possible that wasn’t before?
Stay Present
Anxiety thrives on “what ifs” about the future. Practices like mindfulness and meditation can lower cortisol levels and improve emotional regulation, giving your nervous system a chance to reset. Even pausing for a few deep breaths can shift your state of mind.
Acknowledge the Grief
Change always involves loss, even in positive circumstances. Allowing yourself to grieve what is ending—without judgment—creates space for new beginnings.
Transitions are uncomfortable because they stretch us. But discomfort doesn’t mean failure—it means growth is underway. The challenge of change is not only learning how to adapt, but also allowing ourselves to be reshaped in the process.
If you’re navigating a season of transition, remember this: you don’t have to have it all figured out. Staying grounded doesn’t mean resisting what’s happening—it means finding steady ground within yourself as life inevitably evolves.